Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
We’re supposed to feel all romantic over the next few days.
Some people’s version of romance is different from others’. Some men’s, for example.
With perfect timing, Conversica, a company that provides AI sales assistants to many organizations around the world, offered me an anonymized peek into what men say online to a female sales assistant whom they take to be real.
When you’re a robot, you see, you’re good at remembering. Especially when it’s all written down.
I stared at Conversica’s list of actual things men have written to its virtual sales assistants for quite some time. I sighed more than once and then chose the 10 that I thought best represented the level of discourse.
I present them without editing, save for the removal of one phone number (you’ll understand why, Andrew).
1. You sound cute you got a picture. Yes, this is apparently what represents male charm in certain quarters.
2. Nicole your beautiful are you single. You might consider this an attempt at factual conversation. I might consider it tact-free. I should add that Conversica doesn’t attach images or avatars to its AI. Its client companies may.
3. On one condition. You join me for lunch!!! It seems that some men believe a couple of exclamation points makes them sound exciting.
4. What up Tiffany you got a boyfriend..you wanna go outt sometime. I suspect Tiffany might care about things like punctuation and spelling.
5. Sara Do you want to go on a date with me in my new genesis coupe? Some men, you see, think their car is their greatest allure. Even if their car is a Hyundai Genesis Coupe.
6. Tx. Are you single. (LOL). The occasional man has a little self-awareness — or at least a little shyness — to understand that he might be behaving in a laughable manner.
7. Emilly I think I love you. Some of these men claim to think.
8. I love you Jen. It appears that the occasional man feels perfectly confident to come right out and say it. Even if he’s never actually met Jen at all. What if she was real? What might she reply?
9. Are you married Grace. This man seems not to care whether Grace might have a boyfriend or even a fiancé. The only barrier to their getting together appears to be whether she’s married.
10. Stephanie are you hot if so heres my number xxx-xxx-xxxx. Thanks Andrew. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks a lot.
I should add that Conversica told me that there were “literally thousands” of men who referred to these sales assistants as “honey,” sweetheart” and “dear.”
Happy Valentine’s Day.